Woo hoo! OK. Let me clarify. I'm not woo-hooing because Maggie jumped Pico. In fact, I feel kind of stupid because I figured something like that would happen, but I was really hungry and I was busy scarfing down half a can of kidney beans while dispersing cheers. My bad. Anyway.
It's a fantastic day, and I didn't want Pico digging up all of my worms and coming back in the house with a filthy nose, so I had her in the kennel for most of the day while I worked in the garage. Sorry A - it was driving me crazy. I wanted to take the trash out since the bin was full, and ended up doing more than I expected. Anyway. I decided to take some time and play with Pico and Hopus. I put Maggs and Chew in the back-back yard (we seem to have developed a complicated back yard system) and threw a toy for Hope. Pico ran around, peed twice (sniffed a lot first), and took a very large poop (which I cleaned up, thankyouverymuch mrC). It was fun, but I tired out Hope and she started to get a little grumpy toward Pico (I think she sprained her rear leg when I had her jumping and twisting in the air. She's amazing twirly dog!). Then Pico didn't want to run around any more because Hope was grumpy. So I thought I'd run in, grab a bite, and then do the doggy shuffle, but leave Hope and Pico in the main back, and Chuy and Maggie in the back back.
Bad idea. Kind of. I had the kitchen door open, and when person-walking-by triggered dog barking frenzy, I heard a dog run by the door and back again. "Huh? -- there shouldn't be any dogs there" so I peaked my head out the screen door and saw Chuy, but no Maggie. Crapola. Maggie probably jumped the fence and is now in the same enclosure with the dog that she has caused more than 5K worth of damage in at least three separate instances. Yay.
So I open the back door to the dogroom. And Pico runs in. A HUGE no-no, and Maggie, being the enforcer of all rules (she's very fascist that way), jumps Pico in the office, on the rug, next to the pile of books I'm trying to sell. I am sooooo happy Pico already did her bidness -- all that came out was a tiny little turdlet that I stepped on after the mess was over (I was wearing a sock. It's now in the trash and there's pee-eating enzymes on the floor where it got smushed).
So my long rambly story is now to the "I did something right!" part. What I didn't do: Panic. Yell. Scream. Pour water on the dogs. Rush around like a frantic person. What I did: I put down my bowl of food (I was eating a half a can of kidney beans, remember? Although, for a split second, I really did consider throwing it at Maggie, but how kidney beans would deter a fight is now beyond me. Glad I didn't - one less thing to clean up). After I put down my food, I put down my chopsticks (hehe). I grabbed Maggie by the tail. Still not screaming, I pulled. I didn't say anything, I just pulled Maggie away from Pico. Thankfully, she let go (I didn't get a chance to tether Pico to anything, so she was on her own).
Quick survey: no pee or crap everywhere and Pico is free. I'm still holding Maggie by the tail, and she's snarling like a mad dog (frothing at the mouth and grrr!) Pico, sweet little stupid thing that she is, is sitting there, wondering what the frack she should do. I am so glad we trained Pico to go to her kennel. "Pico! Kennel" (stupid dog, I'm thinking - but she's not alpha, and has no idea what to do, so it's actually good that she waited for me to tell her what to do. It's my job.) Pico heads out to her kennel in the living room and I reach behind me, open the door and very calmly shove Maggie outside. Go to the living room, check Pico over (she's slobbery, but no damage. Whew!). Walk back to check for a more thorough pee-poop check and step in some. Take off socks and throw away. Let in Chuy, let in Hope. Walk around with Maggie for a little bit to reaffirm my alpha (and she's really doing it all right - walking behind me, totally focusing on my face. I ignore her, but demand she come out with me while I'm taking out the recycling). Let her back inside with me (and yell at Hope for jumping over the couch and eating all the cat food).
Then I realize that I don't have a headache, nor despair, nor melancholy. Maggie just attacked Pico and I didn't lose it. I actually handled it in a way that didn't cause more damage to Pico (unlike the previous times when I yelled and screamed, which I realized afterwards caused more damage b/c Maggie thought I was encouraging her - she's such an obedient dog. If only she weren't so rule-bound).
So I'm happy in a weird sort of way. And I'm proud of myself. So, yeah, I'm bragging. But in a weird sort of "my dogs aren't really well-behaved" way. Which is perfect, because it makes no sense. Just like me.
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